whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
