I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
