Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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