I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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