I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
