I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
