No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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