the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
