we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
