I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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