he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
