I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
