Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
