May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
