i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize