Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
