youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
