Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
