I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
