i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
