She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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