I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This house was built for laser tag.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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