so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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