so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think a kid would responsible me up
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
