did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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