I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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