I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
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So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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