Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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