I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
