how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
