soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
