Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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