if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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