And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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