This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
