don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
