i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The air taste purple.
Randomize
