I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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