my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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