**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
