So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
