i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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