3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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