I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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