i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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