You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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