yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
