Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
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there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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