I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize