Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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