At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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