Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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