I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
