remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
